simply because you can breathe does not mean you are alive or that you really live.
this was my mantra after my open heart surgery in august of 07… now that the 4 year mark is looming upon me i cant help but have those words ring in my ears constantly. i wanted so much after my surgery. i felt like i wanted to see and do and feel everything. i wanted to live my dreams and follow my heart. i was so full of life.
well… it really hit me today that im no closer to any of the things i wanted to do then at this point in my life.
and it actually made me really really depressed….
im getting weaker and sicker, and i know soon enough im not going to be able to escape surgery. how can i be happy or feel content getting back on that table when i havent reached any of my dreams.
i want to cry so badly now.
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